Of The Late Wife, The OKU, The Fisherman

I want to do scaling for this one pakcik, and just then the water was not coming out from the handpiece. Kak Na checked it for me, and yes the water in the bottle has emptied and need a refill. Hmm so this patient is something around late 50's, and a pesara, so I threw out a little conversation while waiting for Kak Na, because I caught something in his eyes. Something's weighing but he acted all is alright with fatherly face.

I asked him if he were a teacher or police or soldier before. Ok,wrong. he is felda. He brought along his one OKU child aged 27. Suddenly he was opening up, telling me that her late wife just passed away 2 months ago. I was shocked by the sudden opening. So shocked that I went blank for seconds and tears rushing down my heart, tongue tied; It's only two months, and I know at this phase it still bleeds like hell! I couldn't think of any soothing words for him, should have said somethings but oh I hate myself for always feeling so deeply but can't ever say a word. She was a TB fighter here at this same hospital.

After some very late seconds, my brain start to function; 'Innalillah' and I start to change the topic. I asked him if this boy he brought along is the youngest, he said no, this is seventh. I was very impressed, wow so many!

'Isteri saya bagi saya 10 orang anak (sambil tunjuk dengan jari dengan nada sangat gembira bangga)....'
Oh no, I thought i have successfully changed the topic, but it just bleeds more. My heart. I can see his eyes, telling how much he missed her, longing for her.

...'Sorang ni OKU..'
'Takpe pakcik, anak syurga ni'
I told him that its okay. But actually I sighed a lot silently behind my faceshield and mask. Tears come down the throat, and Kak Na arrived right on the critical time haha. Thanks Kak Na!

Life is unfair right pakcik?
I wish you a happy life here and hereafter.
Be strong whatever fates may take, be faithful that everything comes and goes for good. Always. Even if actually we can't really see it now or forever, it is always for good. Be healthy too, you are really blessed with a fatherly heart and childrenssss. Oh Allah, please help him going through all this =)

I think I have fallen in love (hardly) for being a government officer. 10 years is okay lah hopefully.

And in the evening, a nelayan is coming to pull out his tooth. His skin is all burnt and wrinkled. Tired eyes. I was about to ask him, about this month's weather; raining and raining and raining, sometimes windy, hows pakcik survive. I was about-- Thankfully, my brain recheck it again and decide to delete those stupid question, leaving it clouds over my head until now. I just pray that this tooth extracting process will go well for this pakcik and for me also. But then, the crown fractured, ppakk! Oh em jay, heart racing. Sweats. Don't want to SOS seniors. After some very distressing try and error of elevating, finally the tooth was born successfully. Fuu-uhh alhamdulillah. It is not even close to saving a life, only a tooth, but in dentists' eyes it is the omaigod-awesome moment seeing the tooth out haha. If only I have arm muscles, hm!


Actually in clinic, I learn a lot about people, life, and struggles.
Science? In books.

Lets pray that Allah always keep me(us) in pure intentions while doing jobs whatsoever.

10 malam terakhir. Hujan, sejuk, nyaman. Rasa macam baru semalam start puasa, alih alih minggu depan dah raya. Aih.

Mencurah curah pulak tu nak menulis bulan bulan puasa ni haaaalaaahh. Kalau tak tulis karang tak boleh tidur. Layankan jugak lah. Besok lambat pergi kerja, drive macam schumacher la jawabnya!